Playing With Memories
by Shunters
Summary: An AU of 'Play With Fire'. What if Greg had gotten up after being blown through the window? What if it brought back horrible memories? Could he survive the truth of his choices a second time? Kind of confusing with Greg's POV in the first chapter, but all will be explained. NickGreg. Contains the whole CSI gang from S3
1. Bang and They're Back

**Summary: **A slight AU of 'Play With Fire'. What if Greg had got up after being blown through the window? What if it brought back horrible memories? Could he survive the truth of his choices a second time? Hints of NickGreg

**Warnings: **Some strongish language. Big spoilers for 'Play With Fire'. Might go into gory detail later on. Possible suicidal thoughts. Definite depression from Greggo. Major feelllsss! Hints of NickGreg, may turn to full NickGreg.

**Author's Note: **So to those of you how are reading my Numb3rs fic _Charlie's Training_ just know that I haven't given up, but I just really needed to right this down while the ideas and inspiration was there.

**This fanfic contains multiply POVs to try and explain my complicated thinking of what Greg should be thinking and doing. ENJOY! **

**Oh and PS reviews are always very lovely, but please no hate only advice. Also sorry if it's medically incorrect but I'm only doing my GCSEs so sorry about that.**

**Greg's POV**

I was standing in my lab, trying to work out what that smell was. It smelt like burning plastic. I turned. Then it happened. The lab exploded, and with such force it sent me flying through the window and into my past.

There it was, the familiar sound of a bomb. The ringing burned in my ears, my back stung from the air and glass in my cuts, burns and scars, my whole body pleaded for me to stay down, but my mind screamed at me to jump up and run for my life.

I moved my hands by my face and tried to push myself up. I raised a little the first time, then hit the floor again. _'Come on! You have to get up Sanders!'_ I thought to myself, '_do you want to die here? In this God forsaken waste land?'_ That we what I needed. I pushed myself up, and this time managed to stand.

I could hear people screaming and yelling for help through the piercing ringing in my ears. I saw a woman on the floor. She had brown hair and brown eyes, so I assumed she was Kelly, one of the soldiers under my command. I staggered over to her.

I pulled her up, "get out of here now! Before another one blows!" I told her over the ringing I knew was in her ears too.

"Greg! Are you okay? You got thrown through a window! You need a paramedic!" she yelled back.

'_window? What is she on about? There's no windows in the battle field. And since when does she call me Greg? She's always called me Sargent.' _I thought to myself.

"Greg? It's me Sara! Are you okay?" She asked.

'_Sara? Who the hell is Sara?_' I thought '_Oh well. I can't deal with that right now_'

"Get out of here now! And that's an order!" I yelled at her. With that she turned and left very slowly, with a very confused look on her face.

I turned again. '_Where's my gun?_' I thought '_Urg! No time!_' I stumbled through the, what looked like a hall or was it a crack in a valley?, and took a left. I used the was it a rock? Or a wall? For balance. An older man with brown (and slowly turning grey) hair and blue eyes spotted me. This made me assume it was another in my squad, my responsibility, Ethan.

"Greg!" he ran up to me and grabbed my shoulders, "oh my God. Are you alright?" he asked.

"I'm fine. Do you know where the rest are?" I asked more concerned with my squad, "Where's Nicky?" I was referring to my best friend, Nickolas (Nicky) Smith.

"Yeah, the rest of the team are safe outside. Nicky's with them," he said, "now come on we need to get you to a hospital"

"No. I need to help. I need to get the rest away from here," I told him, expecting the man to listen.

"No. Everyone else is fine. You need medical attention now."

"You're sure everyone else is safe?"

"Yes they're fine," he told me as he put an arm around my lower waist, to avoid the burns and cuts, and put my arm around his shoulder.

We made our way outside towards some emergence ambulances, '_how the hell are there ambulances here?_' I thought to myself.

All around, people I didn't recognise stared at me as we hobbled out. One man with brown, almost black, hair with brown eyes and a very muscular build ran up to us. I assumed he was Nicky, good old Nicky Smith, made friends with the boss.

"Greg! Greg man are you alright?" he asked me.

I nodded and looked around. I couldn't find him, the one I was looking for, the one I cared most about, "where is he Nicky?" I asked him.

"Who?" he asked.

I frowned '_how could he ask me that!_' I thought. "You know damn well who! Where is he?!" I grabbed his shoulders.

"I honestly don't know who you're talking about," he told me.

"Tommy. I'm talking about Tommy. Where the _hell_ is he?!" I almost yelled the last part.

"Who's Tommy?" he asked as he grabbed my shoulders.

"No," I breathed. My head was spinning, swirling, furling at a million miles an hour. I hurt like hell everywhere, I could hardly breathe from smoke inhalation and this was defiantly not making it any better. '_What the hell is going on here'_. My head hurt too much, there were too many new people here, they were all too disobedient, it was all too much. My head began to pound as people kept yelling at me, only I couldn't hear them over the buzzing in my ears. But it wasn't from the explosion. I could feel the familiar sensation of darkness creeping in. My vision was turning white, bright white, again_ too _white. My hearing was lost to the buzzing and then I realised what was happening. My breathing quickened, it was fast, _too_ damn fast, I couldn't breathe. I moved my hands off Nicky's shoulders and grabbed my head. I clenched my teeth. I couldn't stop my head from spinning or my vision from fading nor the loss of hearing. And then it happened. Everything was white. And then black, so, so black. _Too _black.

**Sara's POV**

I was just walking down the hall, just trying to follow Grissom. When I gave up, that's when it happened. I didn't hear it, I barely felt it. I didn't know what was happening, all I knew was a force like a truck hitting me. I hit the floor and then my brain caught up with what happened. It was a bang. A very loud bang, one which I recognised as an explosion. I flew into the wall and was forced to the ground. I cut my hand on the glass, but it was fine, I was fine. If only the ringing would stop.

I looked up and saw Greg. I had partially seen him get blown through a window. He was trying to get up, _'oh God Greg!'_ I thought. I had a cut on my hand and wasn't even trying to get up, but here was Greg with glass sticking out of him and trying to get up. And then he did, but instead of going straight for a medic, he came for me.

He staggered over to me and pulled me up, "get out of here now! Before another one blows!" he told me over the ringing in both our ears.

_'What does he mean another on?' _I thought, then focused on the matter at hand, "Greg! Are you okay? You got thrown through a window! You need a paramedic!" I yelled back, panic lasing my voice.

I could see a frown appear on his face. He was taking too long to answer. _'Oh God! What if he hit his head? Is he okay? He looks too confused!'_ I thought.

"Greg? It's me, Sara! Are you okay?" I double checked.

He seemed to look more confused when I mentioned my name.

"Get out of here now! And that's an order!" he yelled at me.

_'Since when did he give orders'_ I thought. I turned and left very slowly, with a very confused look on my face. I knew he wasn't going to leave until I did so I just did what he said.

**Grissom's POV**

I was just standing in my office, talking with a colleague. When I heard it. The smash of shattering glass, then the fire alarms, and then the panic. I had only just closed my door, _'what could have happened so fast?'_ I thought. I moved back over to my door. The lab was a mess - glass, paper and evidence everywhere. I stepped into the hall.

Archie and Nick jogged past me.

"Whoa, Nick, what happened?" I called after them.

They turned and walked back, "I don't know. Archie and me were just standin' there, when boom. This happened," Nick explained.

"Okay. Get outside both of you. Help anyone you see on your way, I'm gonna go that way and try to clear the building," I told them. They nodded, turned and left.

I went from room to room for a bit, clearing the two nearest my office. I turned to look in the way of Greg's lab, _'Crap! How could I have not checked on Greg first! His lab is obviously the centre'_. I was just about to run to Greg's aid when a hunched figure appeared. They put a hand on the wall and continued down towards me.

"Greg!" I yelled as I released who it was. I ran up and grabbed his shoulders, "oh my God. Are you alright?" I asked.

"I'm fine. Do you know where the rest are?" he asked obviously more concerned with something else, "Where's Nicky?" I knew Nick and Greg were interested in each other, they confided that much in me, although I had never heard Greg call him Nicky.

"Yeah, the rest of the team are safe outside. Nicky's with them," he said, "now come on we need to get you to a hospital"

"No. I need to help. I need to get the rest away from here," he told me, somehow he expected me to listen to that insane reasoning.

"No. Everyone else is fine. You need medical attention now."

"You're sure everyone else is safe?"

"Yes they're fine," I told him as I put an arm around his lower waist, to avoid the burns and cuts, and put his arm around my shoulder.

We made our way outside towards some EMT ambulances, he seemed a bit confused but I really couldn't blame him.

**Nick's POV**

After speaking with Grissom, Archie and I started to leave the building helping all the injured we could find. I made it outside and got checked on quickly by a paramedic. I was then waiting for Greg, sweet innocent Greg, who's lab I thought was the epicentre of it all. And then I saw him, as he hobbled out with Grissom. Everyone stared. He looked like he was in a warzone. He had glass sticking out of him and all over his clothes, with several visible burns. He looked severely confused, he only seemed to recognise me, and even then he looked unsure.

"Greg! Greg man are you alright?" I asked as I ran up to him.

He nodded, distracted. He looked around, confused. He couldn't find something, something important, "where is he Nicky?" he asked me.

"Who?" I asked.

He frowned and looked as though I just killed his puppy. He grasped my shoulders, "You know damn well who! Where is he?!"

"I honestly don't know who you're talking about," I told him.

"Tommy. I'm talking about Tommy. Where the hell is he?!" he almost yelled the last part.

"Who's Tommy?" I asked and grabbed his shoulders. I was _very _worried now.

"No," he breathed.

Greg went deathly pale and looked scared, angry, confused and dead all at once. It shook me to my core as he just zoned out.

"Greg?" I asked. Nothing. "Greg?" I tried again. Still nothing.

"Greg!?" Grissom tried louder. Nothing

Then Sara. Blank. Then Archie. Zip. Then Jacqui. Nada. We all tried again and again. But with no luck. I was just about to call a medic over, thinking he'd gone into shock when he started hyperventilating. He tightened his grasp on my shoulders, I didn't even know he had that kind of strength. We all tried to calm him down, but to no avail.

Then he removed his death grip on me and grabbed his head, he clenched his teeth and groaned. He shut his eyes, then went limp and fell into my arms.


	2. Hospital

**Summary:** A slight AU of 'Play With Fire'. What if Greg had got up after being blown through the window? What if it brought back horrible memories? Could he survive the truth of his choices a second time? Hints of NickGreg

**Warnings:** Definite depression from Greggo. Major feelllsss! Hints of NickGreg, may turn to full NickGreg.

**Author's Note:** Reviews are great and I enjoy reading them! Sorry if the Norwegian is incorrect I used Google Translate XD

* * *

**Normal POV - Hospital**

He awoke and sprung his eyes open. The light burned so he quickly snapped them shut again.

He took a few deep breaths while he tried to clear his head, 'ok Greg,' he thought to himself 'what the hell did you get yourself into now?'

And then it came back to him. The simple test, the distracting smell...the bang. Then the rest of his memories drowned him like the first time he got held under while surfing...only worse.

He opened his eyes gentle. That was the first time he thought about Tommy since it happened. He then noticed the man in the white coat.

"Hey, Greg. I can call you Greg now right? I don't have to keep calling you Sargent do I?" The doctor asked as he smiled up from his clip board. He looked familiar to Greg; the green-blue eyes, the short brown hair and the same army stance.

"Jerry? Doctor Jeremy Pierce?" Greg confirmed.

"Yeah. It's good to see you outside of hell Greg. Although it would've been nice if I didn't see you being rushed in on a gurney from an explosion."

Greg sighed, "yeah. That would've been great.. So how's it looking doc?"

"A lot better than I first thought. From what I heard you were shouting at one of your friends about someone he'd never met, then just collapsed into his arms."

"Yeah. The explosion sent me through a window and into my past. I kept seeing people as them, the ones on my squad, the ones who were my responsibility...the ones I got killed. Then I started shouting at Nick, my friend who happens to be called Nick as well, about...about, Tommy," Greg finally choked out, then used looked to the ground for guidance.

"Greg you know that wasn't your fault. It wasn't you who did it," Jerry said in a sympathetic voice as he crouched down to be on the same level as Greg.

"I could have saved them!" Greg chocked out, then broke down into tears.

Jerry moved a hand onto Greg's shoulder, "no you couldn't," he simply said.

Greg was now full blown sobbing, "they were my responsibility! And he was my brother! My baby brother..." The more Greg thought about it the more he cried, "oh God," he slapped a hand over his mouth, "I killed my brother," he closed his eyes and broke out into silent tears.

Jerry stated sincerely, "I'm sorry Greg. But you know it wasn't your fault... I'll come back in a minute and tell you about your injuries." With that Jerry stood and left the room, shutting the door and leaving a weeping Greg behind.

Nick walked in and saw the distraught Greg. He ran over to his side, "Oh God. Greg, baby, is it that bad?" When Greg did nothing but hide his face in his pillow Nick got worried, "come on baby, talk to me. What did the CT scan say?"

Greg started shouting what sounded like random nonsense to Nick, "Gå vekk! Jeg bryr meg ikke om hva som skjer med meg! Jeg drepte dem! Jeg drepte dem alle! Selv min bror!"

Nick was now very worried and thought Greg had brain damage, "what? Come on Greg, baby, tell me something I can understand. Please," he begged.

"Nei Nick! Nei! Bare, la meg være alene... Jeg ønsker ikke dette lenger. Det gjør vondt!" Greg choked out.

Nick stood up and opened the door. He saw the doctor walk by, "'scuse me, Doctor Piece?"

The doctor turned, "yes?" he asked coming up to Nick.

"Um, there's something wrong with Greg. He won't speak anything that's actual English," Nick told him, "is like brain damage or something."

"He seemed fine when I talked with him earlier, and the CT scan was clean, I'll come check him now."

The pair walked into the room. Jerry knelt back beside Greg, "Greg? What's wrong?"

"Gå vekk! Det gjør vondt!" Greg chocked out.

"Ar, okay," the doctor stood up and turned to Nick, "okay, so I've seen Greg do this before, basically when he gets really upset or angry he'll start yelling and speaking in Norwegian."

"Wait, hold up, you know Greg?"

"Yes I was the main doctor for the platoon he was in."

"Platoon? As in army platoon?"

"Yes, didn't you know?"

Nick sighed, "no, no I didn't."

"I see. Well the explosion sent him reliving his war memories, he most likely didn't recognise any of you as you and actually saw you as the members of the old squad he was in charge of."

"In charge of?" Be this point Greg had cried himself to sleep.

"Yes. He was a _very_ good soldier, advanced through the ranks extremely fast. When he left he was a Sargent, the best I've ever seen, very concerned with _every_ member of his squad and every single member of the _whole_ platoon. Especially his best friend, Nickolas Smith Nicky for short, and Tommy," the doctor sighed and shock his head ruefully.

"Who's Tommy?"

"He was Greg's little brother, followed in Greg's footsteps."

"Was?"

Jerry nodded, "Greg's whole squad was wiped out by a missile. Greg blames himself for the deaths," he shock his head sadly again.

"Why?"

"He saw the missile coming, but froze up and he blames himself for not warning them," the doctor's pager went off, he looked at it, "if you'll excuse me I've got another patient to see to," with that the doctor left.

Nick sat beside Greg and took his hand. Greg slowly opened his eyes, "why?" Nick asked.

"What?" Greg was very confused now.

"Why didn't you tell me?" The Texan asked him.

"Tell you want?" Greg asked.

"That you were in the army, that you had a best friend called Nicky, that you had a brother."

Greg sighed a sad sigh, "Nick-"

"You know what? Just don't Greg, I don't want to hear it," Nick stood up.

"What? No, Nicky, don't-"

"See, you even call me Nicky, just like your dead best friend, what am I to you? A replacement?"

"No, Nick, baby, your not a replacement."

"Just don't Greg," Nick swept out of the room, closing the door on Greg.

"Don't leave!" Greg then whispered, "everybody leaves me."

* * *

**Translations:**

_"come on baby, talk to me. What did the CT scan say?" Nick. _Greg shouted, "Go away! I don't care what happens to me! I killed them! I killed them all! Even my brother!"

_"what? Come on Greg, baby, tell me something I can understand. Please," Nick begged. _Greg, "No! No Nick! Just, leave me alone... I don't want this anymore. It hurts!"

_"Greg? What's wrong?" Jerry. _ Greg, "Go away! It hurts!"

* * *

**So I felt I should leave it there for this chapter, but will explain (most likely) with flashbacks in the next chapter.**

**Would did you think? Loved it? Hated it? Did I ramble in Norwegian for too long or too short? Let me know what you think about it.**


	3. Memories

**Summary:** An AU of 'Play With Fire'. What if Greg had got up after being blown through the window? What if it brought back horrible memories? Could he survive the truth of his choices a second time? NickGreg

**Chapter Summary: **Greg laying in his hospital bed thinking about his past.

**Warnings: **Some strong language. Might go into gory detail later on. Possible suicidal thoughts. Definite depression from Greggo. Major feelllsss! NickGreg.

**A/N: **Yay! I managed to type this up! May take longer for the next chapters, so sorry about chapter is mainly to give you some background info on Greg. _Italics_ _= memory or emphasising something._ Non-Italics = 'Present'(ish) or emphasising in a memory. I do love reviews, so please leave your thoughts. Enjoy!

**Memories**

"Everyone leaves me," Greg whispered to himself as he sunk back into the hospital bed and let a silent tear fall as memories haunted him.

_In a house, there was a little boy's bedroom. In that bedroom, there was a closet. In that closet, there were two boys, brothers._

_One was eleven, the other four years older, of age seven. It was 4:30pm. Their mother was downstairs. They heard the TV going, apart from that, the only sound was their breathing._

_They heard the car, crushing the gravel beneath it. They heard the engine die. They heard the door open, shut. They heard the front door open, shut. The TV cut out. 'Make me a sandwich' came the muffled voice of a man. The only reply was feet shuffling below them to the kitchen. _

_'Get me a beer' the same voice said slightly louder. A little while later the same footsteps walked back under them._

_'What the hell is this?!' the voice was raised now 'I. said. Get me a beer you bitch!' They heard a gasp and a thud 'where're those kids?' They was no response. 'I said, where. Are. Those. Kids?'_

_'Upstairs' came a quiet woman's voice. They heard heavy footsteps come from below. They heard the stairs groan below the weight of the man. They heard the floorboards warn them of _his_ approach. They heard the door swing open._

_'So, where're you?' came the voice, that voice, _his_ voice, 'are you hiding under the bed' came the patronising voice._

_The older brother put his blanket over his brother and clamped a hand over his own mouth._

_'No, you outgrow that one years ago' said the voice, 'so, the closet then.'_

_They heard the footsteps. They heard the door open. The older saw the light burn through._

_"There you are," the man said as he reached into the closet, "I was looking for you," he pulled the older brother out, "now Greg, what have I told you about coming when you're called?"_

_The eleven year old Greg stared the man down. The adult scowled at the boy and turned with the child tight in his grip, "now, you know that's no way to treat your father don't you. Don't you?" he throw his son onto the cheap bed._

_Greg's father grabbed the baseball bat from beside the closet. He walked over to the boy staring him down. Over the years Greg had learnt that it was better to take it without a sound, it would end quicker._

_The ogre raised the bat over his shoulder. He brought it down on his son's arm. Greg fell to his side on the bed, clutching it. He did not scream or yell. The man raised the bat again and brought it down brutally on Greg's ribs. His father raised the bat again and smashed his leg. Greg's father raised the bat again, and again, and again, until he was too tired to do any more. The man dropped the bloody bat behind him and left to pass out on the couch. _

_Greg was begging for the darkness to come and claim him, for it to finally all be over. But he couldn't do that to Tommy. The bloodied and beaten Greg caught his breathe and fell off the bed. He crawled back towards the closet and tumbled inside. He pulled himself over to the back corner and towards the young huddled figure. He lay under the blanket with his baby brother, Tommy, and soon the darkness had claimed them both._

_The next day the boys' mother found them and saw that it truly was the half dead Greg's worst beating yet. She packed up, called a taxi and took the boys to the hospital. She filed a report against her husband and Greg got checked out. He had; left arm broken in two places, right arm broken in three, left leg broken once, right leg broken in two places, five broken ribs, three cracked, two bruised, a broken nose and a hell of a lot of bruises and cuts. Greg's father was wanted on several accounts of child abuse and spousal abuse. _

_When Greg got released from hospital, the three 'Hojem-Sanderson's left San Francisco, changed their surnames to 'Sanders' and moved elsewhere in California. Here Greg and Tommy continued with school and their mother got a job. Their lives were finally getting normal and they were happy. Until their father found them, so they moved to New York and restarted school and work there._

_But Greg was still getting pushed around, this time at school, but instead of letting it happen like he did with his father, he fought back. Greg was getting very pissed off with being stepped on and beaten, so he joined the army._

_This the one thing (apart from science) that Greg loved. It wasn't the killing or the invading of other places, no, it was the saving of lives, the respect he got, the friends he made. Greg also excelled at the army. He made the rank of Specialist in under two years (which was very uncommon), when his brother joined the army as a Private. Tommy said that he had joined to get away from their drunken mother, who couldn't cope with the possibility of losing her son and their father finding her. After a year Greg was a Sergeant and Tommy was a Private First Class._

Greg let another tear fall at the thought of Tommy.

_Greg set up his rifle on a hill, behind a dried out shrubbery. "Ok, Nicky, take Kelly, Tommy, Lauren and Jo down to Alfa Point. Ethan, take Jimmy, Chris, Chase and Mark down to Echo Point," Greg ordered them, "You know our mission. Stick to the road, avoid the field, don't draw any attention to yourselves and we'll all be home avoiding push ups before you know it," the squad laughed about the old training camp joke, "ok. Nicky your section is Quebec, Ethan yours is Zulu. Got it?" the two sections of the squad nodded, "good, go," the rest of the squad left 'Eagles' Point' for their set locations._

_Greg's job was to watch for enemy snipers and bombers. Hence his posting at Eagles Point (named for the best viewpoint in their battleground). He kept his eyes above his rifle, searching for glints or signs of movement in the distance. Greg caught sight of a glint in the nearby hilly reign overlooking Alfa Point, where Quebec was currently jogging through. He looked through the sights of his rifle and looked towards the glint._

_He saw that it was a type of small missile launcher. He aimed for the operator and was about to pull the trigger when he saw that it was only a young boy, no older than twelve. Greg froze up. He knew what it was like to have your whole life ahead of you, yet not have one._

_He couldn't kill the young man that could have so easily been him. But he couldn't let his friends and family get killed either. He told himself to shoot the damn terrorist, but his finger wouldn't listen. Greg detached his radio, "Quebec, this is Sargent Sanders do you-" the missile fired. _

_That was the last the world saw of the five young souls; Nicky Smith, Kelly Jones, Tommy Sanders, Lauren Daily, and Jo Sommers._

_"Sargent, this is Zulu, do you read me?" Ethan's voice rang through the radio._

_"This is Sanders, I copy you Zulu. Over," Greg replied with a shaky voice._

_"What was that? We heard the explosion, but didn't see anything," Ethan was panicked._

_"I-I… It was a missile. I th-think it got Nick and Tommy and the whole of Quebec," Greg was trying hard to keep himself together._

_"Oh my God, are you sure? I," he was cut off by gunfire, "shit! Chris cover me! Jimmy, I'm coming! Chace, Mark take 'em out," Ethan shouted. There was a lot of gunfire, too much gunfire. Then screams of the dead, and silence._

_That was the last the world saw of the five souls; Ethan Miller, Jimmy Temple, Chris Wilson, Chase Black and Mark Davis._

Greg shed more silent tears for his lost loved ones. He knew it was his fault. He was their Sargent. He should have been down there. But he was their best gunman, so he took Eagle's point.

_Greg got in contact with his superiors, who had (what was left of) the bodies shipped back home. Greg got the rest of the day off. The following, Greg managed to complete his mission and take his anger out on the bastard enemy. After this he shut down. He was awarded medals for his heroic actions and was honourably discharged. His therapy was paid for by the army._

_Greg was catatonic apart from random outbursts of anger. He had scarring nightmares and shut off his emotions. The phycologists and therapists diagnosed him with PTSD. They kept him in a centre to work on his issues. After a while they recommended that he work out his anger someway and change his taste in music and possibly his hobbies._

_So Greg went to the gym to work out his rage on a punching bag instead of a person every weekend, started listening to heavy and thrash metal and got back into surfing. He decided to fall back on the other thing he was good at, science._

_When Greg got released from the centre, he went to visit his mother._

Greg slid down in his bed, the drugs making him sleepy, and the crying warring him out. Greg slipped into a sleep haunted by nightmares and playing with his memories.

_Greg walked up the steps onto the porch of his and his mother's house. He was dressed in his army wear and was carrying his army duffle bag. He knock on the door. A minute later his mother opened the door. She saw the army uniform first, "What do ya want now?" she looked up and saw it was her son, "why Greg, why didn't you save him, he was your baby brother."_

_"I'm sorry mom, I tried to.. But it was too late," Greg held back the tears._

_"I don't care," his mother took a deep breath, "you'll find your stuff in storage unit 297 in The Big Yellow Self Storage Company in Las Vegas. As far as I'm concerned, both my children died in Iraq," with that Greg's mom dropped the storage key at the boy's feet. She turned and picked up her bottle of whiskey, before she shut the door on her son forever._

_Greg started to live in his storage locker and on the street. He finally got a job in the Las Vegas Crime Lab. When he did he started sleeping there as well. One day Nick saw Greg when he was visiting his storage locker. _

_Nick shut and locked the door to his locker. He turned the corner. Where he saw a man with blonde, spikey hair. Greg. Nick was about to call after him, when Greg walked into his own storage locker._

_When Greg didn't come out of the locker for over two hours, Nick got worried. He walked over to the entrance and knocked. No reply. He opened the door. What he saw made his heart ache. It was Greg asleep on the floor, in a sleeping bag, in the middle of his storage locker._

_Nick knelt beside Greg and tapped his arm. Greg's eyes sprung open, he grabbed the enemy's hand and flipped them over so he we on the top his them. He saw it was Nick and stumbled off him._

_"Oh God, I'm sorry Nick," Greg told him as he backed away._

_Nick stood and stretched his back, "no, it's ok Greg, ya didn't know who it was."_

_Greg quickly scrambled for his sleeping bag._

_"Greg. Are ya homeless man?" Nick asked, taking a step towards him._

_Greg sighed, "look, I'm alright man."_

_"No, you're not, you're living in your storage locker for crying out loud. You don't even have any furniture in here," Nick was rather pissed now. All that was in the locker was some boxes with clothes and photo albums in them, "you need to get a place man."_

_"Can't afford it Nick. I'm not even paying for this locker, my mom is, and half this stuff isn't mine," Greg sighed._

_"Fine. You can move into my place. I've got spare room," Nick told him as-matter-of-factly._

_Two week later, Nick and Greg had started dating. Greg's life was finally getting happy and relatively normal again. That is until he got the call._

_Nick and Greg were sitting on the couch, cuddling, with their feet on the coffee table. They were watching a Discovery Channel bird program, or rather Nick was watching it and Greg was watching him._

_Greg's cell phone rang. He moved his legs off the table and pulled his cell out, "Sanders."_

_"I'm calling from __Alta Bates Summit Medical Center in the East Bay of the San Francisco Bay Area," the female voice told him. Greg sat up, Nick looked at him and frowned, "I need you to come down and identify a Jane Doe."_

_"Um, sure, um, why, why'd you call me?" Greg stuttered._

_"A Jane Doe was brought in off the streets, she was beaten and stabbed. When she regained conciseness all she said was 'Sanders', she lost conciseness straight after. We searched for the unique surname 'Sanders' and you were the most likely relative," the voice told him._

_"Um, ok, thanks, I'll be there in a few days," Greg stood. With that he hung up._

_"Baby, what's wrong?" Nick asked as he sat up._

_"Um, just family stuff. I've got to go now, I'll call Grissom on the way," Greg left their living room, packed a few clothes and bathroom essentials and got into his car. _

_When Greg got to the hospital, he found his mom's room and went to visit her. He knocked on the door, "mom?" he asked and walked into the room._

_The woman in critical condition opened her eyes. Greg sat beside her bed and took her hand, "it's Greg mom."_

_"No. Y-You're st-still dead to me Gr-Greg. B-Both my sons d-died in Iraq," she whizzed._

_Greg's mom flat lined shortly after. Greg later found out his father attack and killed her. Greg spent the weekend in San Francisco and went to the funeral._

_Eventually his life got back to normal again. When the explosion happened._

Greg jolted awake. Sweat layered his body. He lifted his arm, wiped his forehead and breathed deeply. His life was so fucked up. Some God definitely had it out for him, every time his life got better something would happen to screw everything up again. He was only twenty-eight, he had suffered more than everyone at the lab put together and had far more scars than he should.

Greg just couldn't take it anymore.


	4. Oblivion

**Summary:** An AU of 'Play With Fire'. What if Greg had got up after being blown through the window? What if it brought back horrible memories? Could he survive the truth of his choices a second time? NickGreg

**Chapter Summary:** Greg's depression is getting worse, he flees to California for a final look at the beach. Nick would chase Greg till the ends of the Earth, or in this case California.

**Warnings:** Some strong language. Suicidal thoughts. Depression from Greggo. Feelllsss! NickGreg. This is unbeted.

**A/N:** Yay! I managed to get this up! May take longer for the next chapter(s), so sorry about that. It's because I'm on a revision purpose break. I do love reviews, so please leave your thoughts. Enjoy!

**Chapter4 - Oblivion**

**Hospital**

"So Greg, if there are no complications by the end of tomorrow, you should be able to go home the following day," Dr. Pierce told Greg as he wrote down Greg's results on his clipboard.

"Thank you Dr. Pierce," Greg responded in his army monotone. He had shut off his feelings again.

Dr. Pierce sighed and shook his head. He placed the clipboard at the foot of Greg's bed at left the room.

**Meanwhile in the Las Vegas Crime Lab**

Nick was in the break room, drinking a cup of coffee. It was Blue Hawaiian. The coffee reminded him too much of Greg. He felt so bad for how he treated Greg yesterday. Greg had been asleep for two days and the first thing Nick did when he woke up was shout at him and leave. Nick was about to leave and apologize, when Grissom walked in.

"Nick, you got a 419 times three in an alley in the strip, take Warrick," Grissom told him.

"But I was just about ta go see Greg," Nick whined.

"Sorry Nicky, normally I'd let you go, but you two are the only ones free," Grissom told him and past him the address.

"Can't Warrick work solo?"

"No. It's a big case, he needs back up."

"Fine," Nick was about to walk out of the break room, he turned back to Grissom, "hey, Gris, did ya know that Greg was in the army?"

"Greg?" Grissom asked, shocked, "as in, our Greg? As in Greg who's scared of guns, Greg?"

Nick nodded, "yeah."

"No. I mean I know that he did some time in law enforcement, he told me it wasn't relevant to the lab so he didn't put it on his résumé," Grissom replied.

Nick sighed shaking his head. There was so much no one knew about their young, perky lab tech.

Nick and Warrick pulled a double trying to crack their case. The three DBs were two males and a female. In the end it turned out that the female walked in on her boyfriend cheating on her with his friend. The female shot the best friend, the boyfriend shot the girl then boyfriend slipped in the blood and hit his head while trying to call for help. It was a very strange case.

By the time Nick had finished the paperwork, he was so warn out that the moment he shut his eyes on the break room couch he was asleep.

**Meanwhile at the hospital**

When Nick didn't come back, Greg knew that he had lost him forever. He had lost everything. His family, his boyfriend, his safety and job at the lab. Hell he couldn't even surf anymore. He didn't want to live. In fact, he didn't want anything anymore. He couldn't feel happiness, or desire, nor want or need, nothing. Just pain of his loss.

He reached over and increased his morphine intake. Within minutes he was numb. Nothing. Absolutely nothing. He could feel nothing. He was permanently numb now. He would never feel anything again. Except the black-hole sucking him in, tearing his life apart.

He would wait until he was released from hospital. Then he would call a taxi, go to the airport, take a plane to California, hit the beach and end it.

It's not like anyone would miss him. The only visits he'd gotten while he was at the hospital was for questioning or to be shouted at.

What was the point in living if he didn't even have a life?

**Las Vegas Crime Lab - The next shift**

Nick woke up feeling like crap. Why was his bed so hard? And why did his neck feel like it was broken? Nick groaned and sat up rubbing his neck.

"Well good morning sleeping beauty," Sara chimed from the break room table.

"Ha-ha, you're hilarious," Nick stood and stumbled over to sit opposite Sara, "what time is it?"

"Eleven, shift's only just started," Sara told him.

"Ok. I got a case?" Nick asked, rubbing his neck again.

"No, Grissom hasn't handed them out yet."

"Great," suddenly Nick remembered what he had to do. Nick stood quickly, "I gotta go."

Grissom walked in, "cases," he announced.

"No," Nick moaned, sounding more like a kid who got their candy taken away.

"What?" Grissom asked.

Nick sighed. Greg would have to wait, "nothing."

"Ok. Sara, you and Nick, got a 419 in Henderson," Grissom handed the paper over, "where's everyone else?"

Nick shrugged. Sara told them, "Warrick's in the locker room and Catharine's called me and told me that she'd be late, something about a babysitter."

"Ok. You two go, I'll wait for Catharine," Grissom ordered.

Nick and Sara got to the crime scene. The crime scene was a middle aged male DB shredded up in his bedroom. The body looked like he was attacked by a velociraptor.

Nick went into the basement, following some soil trailing to the door leading down to it. He walked down the stairs, turning on his flashlight. He walked around the corner, looking for evidence.

Nick looked at an odd stain on the wall. He didn't hear the footsteps behind him. But he felt the bat connect with his skull.

Instinct kicked in and he grabbed his gun. He turned around to face the attacker and tried to shoot threw his blurred vision. He heard Sara shout his name as he dropped his gun and gave into darkness.

**5 minutes earlier - Sara's POV**

I had just finished processing the upstairs and was working on the living room when Nick told me he was going into the basement to 'check something out'.

I noticed a drop of blood on the carpet by the couch and lay down, shinning my torch beneath it. I saw something glint beneath it. I was going to reach in to grab it when I heard a thump followed by a gunshot.

I stood and yelled, "Nick!?" When he didn't respond I whipped my gun out and ran to the door leading to the basement.

When I got down the stairs I saw a man holding a bat, standing over Nick. "Freeze! LVPD!" I yelled as I pointed my gun at him. He dropped the bat and put his hands up. I heard the cops move in and call for Nick and I.

I yelled for them, saying that the suspect was down with us. They came down and arrested him, while I checked on Nick.

"Nick?" I asked as I shook his shoulder.

He woke up and put a hand to his head, grunting.

"You ok Nick?" I asked, taking a look at the cut on his head.

Nick sat up and sat against the wall, "yeah, what happened?"

"I'm not sure. I heard a gunshot, came down and found you on the floor with the perp standing over you," I told him.

After we got Nick upstairs, I made him get checked out by a medic, but he didn't have to go to hospital. We got to the station to interrogate the perp. He confessed to ripping up the victim with a bread knife out of rage and dropping the knife during the getaway. He came back to pick up the knife and hid out in the basement when we arrived.

Grissom made Nick go home to sleep under Catharine's supervision, because he didn't want Nick to leave or get any worse.

**The following day - The hospital – Greg's POV**

I had got dressed, booked the next flight to California and had called a taxi. I was being discharged from the hospital and was following through with my plan.

A nurse wheeled me to the door. I then walked out of the hospital and got into the taxi. I took it to the airport. It only took half an hour to get on the plane since I didn't have any bags.

The plane arrived at California in just under an hour. And I got out of the airport just as fast as I got in. I took another taxi to my old house, which was now abandoned.

When I got out of the taxi, I paid the driver and entered the house. The downstairs looked like any other house; lounge at the front, dining room behind, kitchen adjacent to the diner, den adjacent to that and stairs in the entranceway.

The upstairs, however, when you got into the bedrooms, was like a scene from a horror show. I walked into my old room. The only things that were in there was a bed and big closet.

The bed was still covered in blood. My own blood. Along with the walls, the floor and the closet. It was everyway. If you didn't know any better you would think that the back of the door was painted red.

I would have welcomed the pain my father gave me, just so I could feel. Something. Anything.

I picked up the old baseball bat that my father used to hit me with, all of it was stained blood red. I sighed as I put the bat back down and sat on the bed.

Tommy's old teddy was sat behind me, still drenched in our blood. I reached behind me, picked it up and held it to my chest. I leant back and thought.

I still felt numb. And I hated it. I wanted to feel love and happiness. I wanted to feel the respect I got in the army. I couldn't feel anger or depression. I couldn't even feel a want for revenge. I was dead inside. And the only thing I could feel was hate. Not at my mother, not at Nick, not even at my father. But at myself. Only myself.

My eyes slipped closed as my thoughts turned dark and twisted into a tornado of self-hate. Before I knew it I had fallen into oblivion, with memories and nightmares tormenting me. Although I had slipped into that dark cavern years ago, I just didn't know it till now.

Nick was anchoring me to the real world, to reality and feelings, but without him, I dropped the last feet into the underworld. Never to return this time.

**Meanwhile in Las Vegas - Nick's house - Normal POV**

"Catharine, please!" Nick begged. Nick was sitting on the couch beside Catharine.

"No Nicky, you heard what Grissom said - 'stay at home, watch TV and sleep, come in tomorrow if you feel better'," Catharine told Nick sternly.

"Catharine. It's a hospital. If something is wrong then there's at least ten doctors and nurses nearby," Nick reasoned with her.

Catharine sighed, "fine, we'll go see Greg."

"Yes!"

"If you take a nap while we're there."

"Deal," with that Nick sprung up and practically dragged Catharine to the car.

When they got to the hospital and found Greg's bed empty they went to find his doctor.

"Dr. Pierce!" Nick called after the doctor. The man turned around, "where's Greg?"

"What? You mean you don't know?" the doctor asked. Catharine and Nick frowned.

"Know what?" The Texan asked.

"Well, I assumed he told you. He was discharged this morning," the doctor informed them.

"What?" Nick breathed.

"Why wouldn't he tell us?" Catharine asked no one in particular.

"I don't know. Did either of you do something to upset him?" the doctor asked.

Nick sighed and looked to the floor guiltily, "yeah. I kinda shouted at him for don't tellin' my about the army and Tommy."

Dr. Pierce nodded. Then realization hit him, "oh God Greg, you didn't," he swallowed.

Nick frowned and looked at the doctor, "what? What he do?" Nick got very worried as he saw the doctor's face.

"Greg's story's more than just the army and losing his brother. He's lost everyone in his life. His father abused him until he was almost beaten to death when he was eleven. He was severally depressed and bullied all the way until he joined the army, he was happy then, but only because he got respect and made friends. Under two years later his brother, Tommy, joined the army to get away from his drunken mother. A year later Tommy was killed along with Greg's entire squad. Greg took his rage out on the enemy, completing his final mission, then he lost it. He was diagnosed with PTSD and depression. He was living on the streets because his mother disowned him. And the last I heard, his mother died," the doctor finished the grim tale and sighed.

The doctor continued, "you know, Greg's lost everyone. And I think that he believes he's lost all of you too," the doctor sighed and shook his head again, "you need to find him. I'm worried he'll do something to himself."

The two CSIs were in a shocked silence. Nick whipped out his phone and dialled Greg's number. No answer. "Hey Greg, it's Nick, call me back, I really need ta talk ta you. I'm really sorry about what I said, just call me back please," Nick pleaded the answering machine.

Nick asked the doctor, "do you know how he left the hospital?"

"A taxi I think, you know what, he used the hospital's phone. You can get the call history from it," the doctor told him. Then walked towards the wall phone and unhooked it, "here."

"Thanks," Nick told the doctor. Dr. Pierce smiled, then left to other patient. Nick checked the call history on the wall phone.

Nick turned to Catharine, "he called the airport, then called for a taxi. I've got a bad feeling about this."

"Why would Greg call the airport?" Catharine asked Nick.

"If you felt you had no friends or family left here, where would you go?" Nick asked Catharine.

"Home. I'd go home," she replied.

"Come on Cath," Nick began to leave, Catharine following, "I'll drop ya back at the lab and tell Grissom what happened. I'm gonna go find Greg."

"Wait, Nicky, where is he."

Nick got in the driver's side of the car. Catharine getting in the passenger's. Nick responded, "California."

Nick dropped Catharine at the lab, and called the airport. He asked about Greg and took the next flight to California, following Greg.

**California**

Nick arrived at California and called the cops to find out where Greg used to live. After getting an address, Nick called a taxi and drove out to the house.

**Where Greg is**

Greg awoke with a start. His dreams were tormented by darkness and fire. But so was his life. He could no longer tell what was reality and not. He really was losing it this time.

Greg stumbled off the bed and threw the bear behind him. He fumbled with his phone to call another taxi and stumbled down the stairs to wait for it. When the taxi arrived, he got in and took it to the beach.

**Where Nick is**

Nick's taxi pulled up outside the house. He noticed another taxi a little further down the street, heading towards the beach. Nick told the driver to keep it running. He turned and ran into the house.

"Greg?!" he called. No reply.

He ran around the small house, finding no one. And no blood either, not even in the bedrooms. Nick ran back out to the taxi and told it to go in the direction of the previous one.

The taxi drove in the direction of the beach until Nick told him to stop, spotting Greg on the beach. He paid the driver and ran around the cliff, towards the beach and after Greg.

**When Greg got to the beach**

Greg jumped out of the taxi and paid the driver. He walked to the deserted beach and around to where no one could see him, unless they were on the cliff road. He needed somewhere secluded, but where someone would find his body. If anyone still wanted his body. He doubted they would, but he was going to give them the choice to bury him anyway.

Greg climbed his favourite flat rock, overlooking the ocean. He sat with his legs over the edge, and pulled an old pocket knife from his sock. He flipped it open and watched the metal shine and gleam in the sunlight.

He brought the cool metal to his forearm. Greg breathed in and out, perfectly calm. Like he was a perfectly ordinary person. He sliced the blade diagonally across his forearm.

He placed the knife next to him and put his finger in the blood. He turned to the side out wrote his note.

It read:

_"My name's Greg Sanders. I'm from Las Vegas. This was my choice. If u find this then pls call LVPD. If u can b bothered"_

Greg lay back and looked towards the multicolored cliff face. He smiled at the scene and closed his eyes.

Nick ran around the corner, looking for Greg. He spotted a man lying on a rock. He ran up and climbed it, "Greg!" he yelled. When Nick saw the crimson pool leaking from his arm, he panicked.

Nick knelt behind Greg, lifting his head into his lap. Nick pulled his jumper off and put it on Greg's arm wound. A tear was brought to his eye, "Greg, please. Don't do this to me."

Greg's eyes fluttered, and his face twisted in pain as he grunted, "Ni-Nick?" he asked weakly.

"Yeah, yeah it's me babe," Nick told him.

"Wha- What are you doin' here?" Greg breathed.

"Of course I'm here. I love ya," Nick told Greg as a tear slipped from his eye.

"You love me? You came for me?"

"Of course I came for ya, I'll always came for ya. I know I left ya in the hospital, but I was gonna come back for ya, I was just stuck at work all day."

Greg smiled, "why would you come back?"

Another tear fell from Nick's eye, as he took out his phone, "I already told ya - I love ya," Nick dialled 911.

"I love you too Nick," Greg's eyes began to close again.

"No, no, no! Don't close your eyes on me! Don't give up on me yet Greg!"

Greg weakly opened his eyes again.

"911, what's your emergence?" a female voice, through the phone, asked Nick.

"Um, I need an ambulance, I don't know where I am, just on a beach somewhere, you can only see us from the cliff," Nick moved the phone away from his mouth and asked Greg, "Greg, baby, where are we?"

"Sea Cliff, California, I used ta surf here all the time. I'm tired Nick," Greg breathed.

"We're at Sea Cliff. No Greg don't go ta sleep, ya can't sleep," Nick was trying to hold it together.

"Ok sir, an ambulance is on its way. Can you tell me what's wrong with Greg?" the caller asked.

"Ok, for you Nick," Greg said.

"He's got a deep cut on his left forearm, I've got pressure on the wound and I'm not lettin' him sleep," Nick told the phone. He took a deep breath then continued, "I think it was attempted suicide."

"Ok sir, just keep him talking, ambulance ETA is 5 minutes," the phone said.

"Ok," Nick moved the end away from his mouth and stopped the flow of tears. He spoke to Greg, "hey, remember we were gonna head to Florida or somewhere for a bit?" Greg nodded, Nick continued, "when ya get outa hospital again, why don't we use some of those vacation days and head outta a cabin somewhere, huh?"

Greg smiled at him, "sounds great Nick," he squinted his eyes and moved his uninjured hand over his eyes, "why's the sun so bright?"

Nick heard the sirens of the ambulance, "the EMT's here now, thanks," he told the phone. He and the girl said goodbye. When Nick looked down at Greg, he saw his eyes were closed, "no Greg, don't do this, don't you dare do this!"

He heard the paramedics and yelled, "over here!"

The medics ran round the corner and climbed the rock. They went up to the pair and moved Nick away.

They checked for a pulse on Greg's neck then his wrist, both arms, "no pulse!" the female medic told the other, "starting defib. Charging 200. Clear!" they shocked Greg. Nothing, "charging 260, clear!" nothing, "charging 300, clear!"

Nothing.

**TBC**

**I am so mean to our poor Greggo! Will they revive him? Or will he die? Find out in the next chapter. Thanks for reading! And following/favourting! :D**

**Review please.**

**Shunters**


	5. Gonna Be Okay

**Summary:** An AU of 'Play With Fire'. What if Greg had got up after being blown through the window? What if it brought back horrible memories? Could he survive the truth of his choices a second time? NickGreg

**Chapter Summary:** Greg's gonna be okay.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own. If I did; why would I be writing this instead of making it happen in the TV show?

**Warnings:** Some strong language. Reference to suicide. Gore. NickGreg.

**A/N:** Yay! I managed to get this up! Will most likely take longer for the next chapter(s), so sorry about that. It's because I'm on a revision purpose break. I do love reviews, so please leave your thoughts.******* Enjoy!

**Chapter 5 – Gonna be okay**

"Charging 360, clear!" The female medic felt for a pulse on Greg's neck, "got a pulse. It's weak, but it's there. We gotta move, fast."

Nick sighed. He turned and saw the note in blood. He quickly picked up the knife and followed the paramedics. He sat in the back of the ambulance, trying to calm himself down. Five minutes into the trip his phone rang.

"Stokes," he answered.

_"Hi, it's Catharine, did you find Greg yet?" _the phone asked.

"Yeah, I got him," the Texan replied.

_"Oh thank God! Is he… is he okay?"_

"No. He's… we're in an ambulance, on our way to a hospital."

_"Oh God. What's wrong?"_

"He's. There's… He cut his arm. And he's bleeding out. Cath, he, he died a minute ago."

_"__What?!"_

Nick pulled the phone away from his ear, "okay, one, ow! And two, you didn't let me finish; they got him back."

_"Oh thank God! Is he gonna be okay?"_

"I think so. Let Grissom know that we're gonna be off for a while - medical and personal leave. I'm gonna stay with Greg while he's here, until he gets better. Just do Greg a favor and don't tell Grissom about the specifics, I know Greg will wanna have his job when he gets back ta Vegas."

_"Yeah, of course. Give Greg my love, and tell him that I'm personally gonna kill him for what he pulled."_

Nick laughed, "Thanks, and I will. Listen I gotta go now, thanks Cath. Bye." After they exchanged farewells, Nick hung up. A minute later, they the ambulance had arrived at St. Mary's Medical Centre.

The doors were thrown open and Greg was pulled from the van. Nick struggled to keep up with the gurney.

"What we got?" a young, female doctor asked as she walked up to the group.

"28 year old male, 5 inch slash on left forearm. Pulse is weak and uneven, as is his breathing."

The rest of the medical terms went straight over Nick's head. He tried to follow Greg through a set of double doors, but was stopped by a nurse.

Nick was led to a waiting room, where he sat nervously twitching and awaiting news for Greg.

* * *

"Family of Gregory Sanders?" the doctor from earlier asked as she entered the waiting room.

Nick shot up, "yeah, that's me. Is Greg okay?"

"He's just fine. I'm Dr. Tailor," the doctor greeted and offered Nick her hand.

"Nick Stokes," he shook the doctor's hand.

"Ah Mr. Stokes, you hold Greg's medical power, this is going to be easier now that you're here. Greg lost a lot of blood and as a result suffered from a minor case of hypovolemic shock. We are giving him some more blood to replace what he lost, and some saline to keep him hydrated. He'll be in the ER until he's completely stable. But he should be fine and safe to go home in a few days," Dr. Tailor told Nick.

Nick released the breath he was holding, "thank you. Can I see him?"

The doctor smiled her sympathetic smile and nodded, "sure." The doctor led Nick through the winding hospital and to Greg's bed in the ER. Nick thanked her, then walked into Greg's section, shutting the curtain behind him.

Nick walked over and sat on the armchair beside Greg. He took Greg's hand in his own. Nick rubbed his other hand down his face, "God. Why'd ya have ta go n do that, G?" his accent got heavy with worry, "why'd ya think no one loves ya? Ya have plenty of people who love ya. Grissom thinks of you as his son, so does Catharine. You're Warrick's and Sara's little brother. An' you're the love of my life Greggo. I know you've lost people, an' I know your family wasn't that good ta ya. But ya have a new family. Ya've always had the lab as ya family. Archie, Jackie, Bobbie n Dave, everyone. An' I'm gonna getcha through this, G, an' when ya get better, we can go for a weekend away. Just the two of us, like old times."

Nick put his head on the bed and closed his eyes. He just prayed that when he woke up, Greg would wake up too and be fine, not suicidal.

* * *

**Greg's POV**

_I knocked on my General's door. He had called me to his office, something about a new recruit._

_"Come in," he called from inside. I walked in, closing the door behind me, saluting him. He greets, "at ease. Thank you for coming Sargent Sanders. Please take a seat."_

_I moved forward and sat in the chair opposite him._

_"So, I called you here to discuss your latest mission," the General explained, "you and your squad, Alfa Delta Zulu 9, are going to Iraq. That includes your new recruit, Jo Sommers. You have two Sections in your squad to make it easier to complete your missions," he pulled open his top door and pulled out a classified file. He opened it and placed it in front of me._

_The General continued, "there are four missions which you are going to do. And four areas to do them in, Zulu, Yankee, X-ray and Whiskey, within each area are five points. Zulu has; Alfa, Bravo, Charlie, Delta and Echo. Yankee has; Foxtrot, Golf, Hotel and India. X-ray has; Juliet, Kilo, Lima, Mike and November. Whiskey has; Oscar, Papa, Quebec, Romeo and Sierra," he pointed to each location on the map as he spoke._

_He then stated, "you will work your way from Whiskey to Zulu. Your first mission in Whiskey is to evacuate the village and search points Papa through Tango for this missile launcher," the General pointed to a picture of the menacing weapon, "second mission is in X-ray. Here you will search points Kilo through Oscar for these three suspects," he showed Greg the pictures of the terrorists, _

_"Next mission, is in Yankee. This is unfortunately the most violent one. We have intel suggesting that in points Foxtrot though Juliet, there is a gang of extremists kidnapping, torturing and decapitating innocents. We want your squad to raid Yankee and shut down this group, known as '__ahmar ikhwaan' meaning 'red brotherhood', by any means necessary. And your final mission is in Zulu. Here you will find the base of 'ahmar ikwaan' and destroy it. We don't have conformation of the exact location of it, but we can be certain it's somewhere between Alfa and Echo point."_

_After receiving the folder we said our farewells and I left to inform my team of the upcoming mission. I walked to the living quarters and entered the room. All the men, _my_ men, stood and saluted me. _

_"At ease," I told them, "so guys we have a new mission. We're going to Iraq tomorrow, so pack as soon as I leave. It will be hot, but don't skip out on your gear. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, would you like to know what we have to do?"_

_"Sir, yes, sir," rang out from the recruits._

_"Ok," I relayed them the information which the General told me, as well as the information from the file._

_The next day we were in a truck, in Iraq. On our way to the base._

_Tommy turned to me, "it's ok Greg. I forgive you, you know?" he turned away again._

_"You forgive me? For what?" I asked._

_"For killing me," he turned back around, half his face blown off, bone visible through his jaw and forehead. His ribs were poking out, displaying the still beating and working organs inside. His left leg was blown off from the knee down and his radius was sticking out from his elbow. _That was exactly how I found him that day._ "It's not your fault anyway, it's The Red Brotherhood's fault. But you took care of them." _Those were his last words that day - it's not your fault.

_The rest of my Unit turned to me, their bodies now broken, beaten and blown up, they told me sincerely, "it's not your fault."_

_"Don't morn for us, Sarg.," Kelly Jones, Specialist, told me._

_"But you're my family," I told her._

_"She's right, Greggy," Nicky Smith, Corporal, called from the driver's seat._

_"We were your family, we're gone now," Jimmy Temple, Specialist, said from beside me, "you need to let go."_

_"But I need you guys," I told them with tears in my eyes._

_"No you don't, you have a new family now," Lauren Daily, Private, said from her seat beside Tommy._

_"You're gonna be okay," Ethan Miller, Corporal, told me._

Then it was black. I was laying on an uncomfortable surface. My left arm had gone numb, in fact I felt numb all round, but not like before. This was a nice feeling. I was comfortably numb. Except for the temperature. It was freezing! The only sound was an annoying, shrill beeping. _'Oh, well, I must be in hell'_ I thought. I couldn't be bothered to open my eyes, so I let my other senses guide me; hard surface, numb, beeping, breathing, disinfectant, _'yep defiantly in hell, wait! Disinfectant?! Oh crap! So much worse than hell!' _

I gingerly peeled my eyes open. White, so much white. And then I saw him, Nick. He had fallen asleep beside me. I relaxed considerably. I moved my hand so it was touching Nick's as I smiled.

"I'm gonna be okay," I whispered as I slipped back into unconsciousness.

**A/N: Yay! I managed to get this little tit bit up. Again the next chapter will be up much later. Sometime in May probably, like 4****th****-5****th****maybe even later, so, sorry about that. But you know how it is – school and stuff. **

****If you have any ideas for what you want to see in later chapter(s). Any new ship, any bonding moments, how the lab should respond to Greg being back, if Nick/Greg should tell them about what Greg really did, should Greg reveal his fall past? Anything. Plus review. Please! :)**


	6. It All Started With a Bet

**Summary: **An AU of 'Play With Fire'. What if Greg had got up after being blown through the window? What if it brought back horrible memories? Could he survive the truth of his choices a second time? NickGreg

**Chapter Summary: **Greg and Nick's relationship evolves. Basically just humour and romance.

**Disclaimer: **Don't own. If I did; why would I be writing this instead of making it happen in the TV show?

**Warnings: **Some strong language. Very, very cheesy jokes and puns. NickGreg.

**A/N: Sorry this took so long but writers block and post-exam stress is a bad combo. Also thanks to Meggysmeg for giving me a jump start on this :D**

**It all started with a bet**

**1 year later**

Nick had just got back from a crime scene of a double homicide of 15 year old female and one 17 year male.

The pair had gone missing, expected run aways, two days previous. They broke into a house for sale and were found by the retailer two days later in one of the bedrooms. They were laying on the bed next to each other, both been shot once in the head.

After processing the scene, Nick went to Greg's lab to give him the DNA to process. While briefing Greg on the case, Nick said, "I'll bet you this is some classic 'parents disapprove of partner, the pair are depressed, 4 day romance run away turns into suicide pack'."

"Hm, sounds like Romeo and Juliette. I think one killed the other, then felt so guilty they killed themselves. What're the terms?" Greg asked.

"Either way the loser has to wear a onesie all day. You win an' I'll buy you that car you wanted," the Texan stated.

"Really?" Greg squealed like a teenage fangirl. Nick nodded his head and Greg continued, jumping excitedly, "yay, yay, yay. Thank you Nicky."

Nick chuckled, "ok, ok. Just, stop jumping," Nick said shaking his head.

"Ok," Greg complied, "and, what if you win?"

"Well… you have to marry me," the older CSI revealed.

Greg was silent for a good few minutes, just staring blankly at Nick, then the floor. You could hear a pin drop in the room until Nick broke the quiet, "…Greg?"

"Yeah?" Greg snapped his attention away from the floor and towards Nick.

"We have a bet?"

Greg groaned, "Nicky, you know I can't say no to a bet. But you also know we already had this conversation."

"I know Greg. But I was thinking about it, and I don't care whether people know or not. It's up to you. Really."

He sighed, "fine, it'll be up to fate. Yes, the bet's on."

Nick smiled. After that, the CSI left to do the rest of his job, while Greg stayed and ran the DNA for Nick.

It turns out they were both right. It was a suicide pact, but the boy shot the girl earlier than planned then shot himself. So Greg was ecstatic with his new black 2004 Porsche Carrera GT, and Nick was ecstatic with the fact that he was _finally_ ableto marry Greg.

They were still keeping it on a down low, but they weren't afraid if anyone found out. Nick loved Greg, and Greg loved Nick, they didn't care what anyone else thought of their relationship. However they didn't think it was anyone else's business, and they certainly weren't going to flaunt their love.

Greg pulled into the Las Vegas Crime Lab in his shiny new Porsche and hopped out, literally. Because Greg does hop. Quite a lot actually.

Warrick walked up to Greg's car and gave it a whistle, "Greg, nice car man. How the _hell_ did you afford _that_?" Warrick asked.

Greg smiled at his friend and laughed, "it's a funny story actually."

A sudden realisation dawned on Warrick, "Nick," Greg nodded and snickered, "oh Nicky, you're never gonna learn."

Greg shock his head. He couldn't keep the smile off his face, "I know," Greg turned back to his car, "aww, I love my baby," he muttered stroking his car.

"I hope you're talking about the car," Warrick chuckled.

"What? Of course I'm talking about the car," Greg gave a nervous chuckle before turning around to face Warrick, smiling, "we should probable get to work."

The taller man laughed, "yeah," Warrick got a proper look at what Greg was actually wearing, "are you wearing an alligator onesie?"

Greg looked down at his green onesie and smiled, pulling the hood shaped like an alligator head up and onto his head, "yup," he said popping the 'p', "now come on."

As the pair began to walk towards the exit of the garage, Warrick asked, "any particular reason you're wearing a onesie, or, ya just felt like it?"

"Part of the bet," Greg simply stated as he strolled comfortably into the crime lab.

Warrick chuckled, shaking his head, "I thought you said you won?"

"I did," Greg nodded, "kind of. It was a bit of a both won, both lost situation."

The CSI and the DNA tech then went about their separate work.

Half way through the day, Greg walked into Grissom's office.

"Yo, Gris," Greg greeted his boss.

"Greg. How can I help?" Grissom asked, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk.

"Well, I was wondering if I could get some time off?" Greg asked, taking the seat.

"Of course. What for, if I may ask?" Grissom asked with a small worried frown on his forehead.

"Um, just some family stuff. A… wedding, of sorts, I guess you could say," Greg told him with a small shrug.

"Oh, really? Who for?"

Greg shrugged _'I really should have thought this through beforehand'_, "um, I don't know really. It's kind of a 'reunion/wedding/hope no one kills anyone'."

"Ok…" Grissom hoped Greg was alright. He was the youngest on the team, yet he had been through more than the rest of the team put together, "sure, when would you like it? And how long?"

"Would as soon as possible for about four days be ok?" Greg asked timidly, wondering if he asked for too much.

"Tell you what, I'll give you the week off. You deserve it."

Greg's eyes lit up immediately, "really? Oh, thanks Gris, you're the best."

Greg was just about to leave, smiling from ear to ear, when he turned back to Grissom.

"How come you haven't asked about the onesie?" Greg asked the grey haired man.

"When it comes to you, Greg, I've learnt not to ask," his boss replied.

Greg smiled, "I'm gonna choose to take that as a compliment."

"I would," Grissom nodded.

Greg turned and left his boss' office, waving goodbye. He continued to stroll towards the break room.

The graveyard shift CSIs were all gathered round the table, as Greg hung back in the door way he heard Catharine say, "oh, just one more, Nicky. Why the long face?"

Everyone proceeded to burst out laughing. This was funny because Nick Stokes of all people was wearing a horse onesie.

"I can't wait to see what Greg's wearing, I haven't seen him all day," Catharine said once her laughter had stopped.

"I have arrived," Greg announced as he stepped towards the end of the table and took a dramatic low bow.

Everyone else again burst into laughter, "oh wow. I don't know which one I like better; Barney or My Little Pony?" Catharine teased.

"Thank you, thank you," Greg said, sitting beside Nick and putting his feet on the table.

Warrick passed Nick a cup of coffee to pass to Greg. After a moment of small talk, Greg spoke up.

"So, I'm off, for the last time in a while," he said removing his legs from the table.

"What? What are you talking about, Greg?" Warrick asked.

"Well, I am off to spend a week in Florida, trying to prevent my family from killing each other," he told the CSIs as he stood, "you shall miss me. Au revoir, adios, farvel, arrivederci," Greg called out as he waved behind him towards his co-workers.

"See ya later alligator," Catharine called out amongst the goodbyes.

"I know he said goodbye in French, then Spanish, and the last was Italian. But what was that other one?" Sara asked.

"Norwegian," Nick answered.

"Since when do you know Norwegian?" Warrick asked his best friend.

"I've picked up a few phrases from Greg," Nick told them. He then stood, "now, if you'll excuse me, I have to talk to Gris about Texas."

"Oh, don't you mean; you have to go see a man about a horse. Oh wait, you're the horse," Catharine laughed.

Nick turned and walked towards the door, "hahaha, I'm laughing so hard," he said sarcastically, "hasta la vista," he told them then walked out of the break room and towards Grissom's office.

Nick knocked on the door and walked in, "hey, Gris."

"Nicky, what's up?" the nightshift supervisor asked.

"I was wonderin' if I could get some time off?" Nick asked carefully.

"Can I ask why?"

"Family reasons back in Texas."

"Is something wrong?"

"No. Just have ta go back n see them."

Grissom nodded, "ok. When?"

"As soon as possible please."

"Ok. How about tomorrow after shift? You can have about a week off."

"Thanks Gris."

"You're welcome Nicky."

Nick turned to leave, but turned back before and asked his boss, "how come you haven't asked about the onesie?"

"When it comes to you, Nicky, I've learned not to ask."

"Thanks…I think," Nick chuckled and left.

Greg put his bag in the boot, of his new Porsche, and hopped in the car (here he goes, hopping again). He turned the radio on to his CD mix and 'Nothin' But a Good Time' by Poison burst through the speakers. Greg smiled and drove towards the airport hotel and towards Nick, singing as he drove.

Nick placed his bag in the boot of the taxi, and jumped into the cab (not literally, Nick doesn't jump places). He told the driver where he wanted to go and the driver turned on the radio to start driving. The song 'Just Like Paradise' by David Lee Roth came through the speakers. Nick smiled as the taxi man drove towards the airport hotel and towards Greg, humming to the song.

The lovers flew to San Francisco to get married. San Fran had legalised same-sex marriage on 12th February 2004, so they decided to get married there.

After the wedding the newly-wed couple flew to Florida for 2 days for some surfing, then to Texas for 1 day for some horse riding, and finally to Hawaii. Following their honeymooning, the couple flew back home and got back to their normal happy life.

Greg strolled into the lab on his first day back and headed to the break room for a cup of coffee.

He smiled to the room as he walked in, "hey guys."

Amongst the happy greetings, Greg heard Catharine say, "hey, Greg, where's Barney?"

He smiled, "I left him at home today," he grabbed a cup of his Blue Hawaii and sat down next to Warrick.

"How was your break?" Warrick asked him.

"It was really good, I went surfing in Florida…" Greg continued to tell them all about his break (more or less), while everyone (even Nick) listened. They all noticed his tan, however no one noticed the shiny new band on Greg's left ring finger. Just like no one noticed the gold ring, on a leather strap, around Nick's neck.

**A few months later (sometime August 2004)**

It was just a normal day at the lab, when the nightshift CSIs finally noticed.

Greg walked into his lab and put on his Marylin Manson CD. The song 'Sweet Dreams' came on.

As it was a normal day, his lab was messy due to the dayshift DNA tech; there were machines open, chemicals in their wrong places, vials and tubes everyone, and even some chemicals spilt on the desks.

Greg sighed, "for God's sake."

He walked over to the paper towel dispenser and pulled several out, walking back to the nearest chemical spillage he muttered to himself. Greg had wiped up the first mess and had moved onto the next one, when Warrick walked in.

The DNA tech put both hands on the table, leaning on it and asked, "what can I do for ya Rick?"

"Whoa, Greg, what happened?" the CSI asked.

The blonde sighed, "the dayshift happened. It's always like this."

"You should tell Ecklie."

"No, Ecklie loves the dayshift. Anyway what did you need?"

Warrick walked forward holding out a folder and some samples, "need you to see if there's a match to this blood and-"

Greg looked down at the table, "no, no, no, no," he cut the CSI off, "shit," he saw that his ring was in some of the unidentified chemicals and ran to the sink, pulling his band off.

"What?" Warrick asked as Greg ran his hands and the ring under the water.

The blonde didn't hear his friend, because he was too focused on his wedding ring. After washing his hands and the band, the DNA tech pulled some paper towels out of the dispenser and dried them. Greg began to inspect the gold ring carefully, checking for signs of corrosion and damage, once he saw there was none the blonde slipped the ring back on his finger.

The other man noticed this and asked, "you're married? Since when?"

Greg stared at him for a moment, "seriously? I've been married for months now, since I took that week long holiday."

Later in the shift (after that awkward conversation with Warrick) Greg walked into the break room, his heart set on coffee.

Catharine ran in just as Greg was sitting down, "Greg! I've heard you're married!" she practically screamed from the doorway, causing quite a few heads to turn in their direction, "is it true?!"

The blonde tech sighed _this was gonna be a long rest of shift_, "yes Catharine, yes I am. I'm taken, and my spouse is very jealous, so stop your flirting," he lightened the mood by joking.

The CSI sat opposite Greg, "what a shame."

Very soon the DNA specialist was bombarded by various questions from various people, until Ecklie came in and shouted over the noise, "you're not being paid to sit around in here and play 20 questions with Gren, get back to work!"

After everyone left, Archie turned to Greg, "Gren? Did he just all you Gren?" he asked.

The blonde shrugged and sighed, "he's never liked me."

A moment of silence fell before the AV tech asked, "so, who's the lucky guy? Is it someone from the lab?" Archie saw a glimpse of something of Greg's face, "it is isn't it?" the blonde smiled and nodded, "finally. You and Nick, about bloody time."

The techs started to laugh and joke about, soon being joined by the other nightshift techs, and the dayshift tech Henry Andrews. The 'rat pack' all knew Greg was bi and had a thing for Nick, just as the Texan had a thing for Greg, and they were all happy to know the two had finally got together.

Soon shift was over and Greg left to go home to Nick, Archie shouting, "see ya tomorrow, Gren!" after him.

Greg laughed and shook his head, "you're never gonna let me live that down, are you?" Greg called back.

"Never," Archie shook his head 'no'.

Overall life was good with Greg. Though he still had a minute fear of being blown through his lab again, but he was coping.

**A/N: So I'm pretty sure this is done now, let me know if you want more (or a sequel etc.) PS I felt like the 'Gren' thing was something Ecklie would do, so yeah. Oh and sorry about the cheesy jokes.**


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